My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's when I was 32. It felt like a death sentence, for us both. Nothing anyone had to say about it helped, either. Everyone agreed: there was no hope; there was nothing to look forward to. They were only trying to sympathize but it crushed our souls and only made a difficult situation worse.

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If only we had known how much joy we would eventually find through the experience!

 

Once we were able to let go of preconceived notions of 'what should be', we were able to enjoy 'what is'. Her Alzheimer's allowed us to say goodbye the right way and it also allowed us to say 'hello' to so many new versions of ourselves. I gained an inner strength and felt a level of unconditional love I never knew I had. She was able to let go of old traumas and grudges and experience the true happiness of living in the moment.

 

Dementia allowed us to live each day to the fullest. Because I knew that her memories were fleeting, and my grip on happiness was slipping, I walked away from everything that wasn't bringing me joy and built a life I never thought possible. I was happier and she was happier because I was happier. Looking back now I can honestly say that it was the hardest but also best thing that ever happened to me.

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After 9 years of living closely with this condition I want to spread the word: it doesn't have to be a horrible experience! Yes, it's hard; yes, you'll cry. But it's also walks in nature, giggling at jokes, letting go of old pain and understanding each other in new and profound ways.

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Shawnee Canjura

Owner of The Long Hello